


and this, to you, i promise

by artemis_west



Category: Pynch - Fandom, Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Canonical Child Abuse, Domestic Violence, M/M, One Shot, pynch comforting each other, sleeping, this is the third pynch fic i've written in 2 days lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-06-05 22:59:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6726790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artemis_west/pseuds/artemis_west
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ronan and Adam didn't tell each other this, but their nightmares always involved losing each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	and this, to you, i promise

**Author's Note:**

> My mind is all consumed with pynch lately. This is just one of the ideas I had floating around in my head. (Also because I love imagining them sleeping in the same bed and spooning because I'm trash.)

Adam didn't tell him this, but his nightmares lately always involved losing Ronan.

They would start off simple enough - he and Ronan would be together in Cabeswater, lying on the grass in the middle of the forest. Adam would be sitting up, staring down at Ronan, admiring his face in the sunlight. He would trace the contours of Ronan's sharp jaw with his fingers, and Ronan would close his eyes and let the beginnings of a smile take over his face. Ronan would take Adam's hand and splay out his fingers, studying each individual one. He would trace the lines of Adam's palm, and they would sit there, quietly, listening to the birds and the trees whisper to each other.

And then, the hurricane would start. It was always a category four - gale-force winds that ripped the branches from their trees and sent debris flying all around the air. The sky would darken and it would begin to storm, raining heavy hale and freezing cold droplets of water. Lightning would flash all around them, too close to where they were sitting, and thunder would boom through Adam's heart. At this part, Ronan always shoved him away.

"Get out of here, Adam!" he would shout, ferociously. "You can't stay here! Get to safety!"

Adam, of course, would refuse to leave without him. "No! Come with me!"

Ronan shook his head, holding onto Adam's fingers for as long as he could. "Go without me! You have to leave me here!"

Adam shook his head. There were tears in his eyes, from the razor sharp wind and the thought of leaving Ronan behind in all this. "I'm not leaving you!" 

" _Get the fuck out of here, Parrish!"_ That part always seemed so real, because of course Ronan would say that. 

Adam kissed him. He took Ronan's face in his hands and kissed him, standing in the middle of a hurricane, while trees were ripped from their roots and rocks flew in the air around them, and lightning hit the ground by their feet. Ronan pulled away and put his hand on Adam's cheek, just once. Kissed his fingers one more time. And then Adam would run. He would run, looking back over his shoulder at Ronan standing in the middle of the chaos, Cabeswater falling to pieces around him. Ronan and his dream-forest would die. 

This was always when Adam woke up, sweating profusely, his heart beating erratically in his chest. He would always wake Ronan up, too. They often slept in the same position - Adam pressed up against Ronan's back, his arms around Ronan's waist. Sometimes Adam's head would be on Ronan's chest, and they would fall asleep holding hands. Tonight, when Adam opened his eyes, Ronan's tattoo greeted him in the darkness. The sharp, complicated lines always seemed to comfort him, somehow. He waited until his heart slowed down before he carefully removed one of his arms from around Ronan to trace the tattoo with his fingers. 

"Another nightmare?" Ronan asked quietly, and Adam closed his eyes. Ronan let him trail his fingers across his back; Adam knew he liked it. Their legs were tangled together under the covers. 

"Yeah," Adam said. He never told Ronan what they were about, but somehow, he always managed to guess. 

"Me? Cabeswater?"

Adam sighed, his breath hot against Ronan's back. "Yeah."

Ronan turned on the mattress so he was facing Adam. He took one of Adam's hands and put his fingers to his mouth, kissing his palm. 

"You don't have anything to worry about, Parrish," Ronan said. "I'm not going anywhere."

He pulled Adam close, his lips finding his good ear. "I promise."

Adam twined his fingers through Ronan's and held his hand tightly. Ronan kissed his neck, gently and tenderly. He murmured something against his skin that Adam couldn't hear. 

"What did you say?" Adam whispered, and Ronan found his good ear again. 

"I love you, asshole. Your nightmares don't mean shit. I'm right here. Get used to it."

Adam smiled. He traced his thumb across Ronan's lip, the way he knew he liked. Ronan put it in his mouth. 

-

Ronan didn't tell him this, but his nightmares lately always involved losing Adam.

They were worse than any dream he'd ever had, anything he'd ever taken out of his dreams. Worse than the night horrors. He and Adam would be driving down the highway in Ronan's BMW, breaking the speed limit by far too much. The windows were down and Ronan was whooping with joy. The wind was tearing through Adam's hair, but he was smiling that true, easy smile that Ronan would start wars and burn cities for.

But then, suddenly, Ronan would turn off on an exit ramp, and he would drive to the trailer park where Adam used to live. He never knew why he did it - it was like he couldn't control his hands and feet. Adam's smile melted off his face, and Ronan would try to steer the car away, but it would never work. They would end up in front of Adam's old home. 

Adam would get out of the car, and Ronan would try to stop him, but he couldn't move in these nightmares. He was glued to the driver's seat, watching helplessly through the windshield as Robert Parrish stepped from the double-wide trailer and spotted Adam in his driveway. 

"What the hell are you doing here?" he would shout, and Adam would say something back that Ronan could never hear. He and his father would attack each other. Or rather, Robert would attack his son. Adam tried to fight back, but he was never strong enough, and at some point, he would give up and let it happen.

Ronan screamed with rage as he watched Adam be knocked to the ground. He watched Robert beat him senseless, and blood would spatter across the ground, and Ronan would scream again, unable to do anything. Robert would beat Adam until he was dead.

Stuck in the car, paralyzed, trapped, Ronan would watch Adam take his last straggling breath. Adam's fingers would twitch one last time, his beautiful hands, beaten and broken, twitching towards Ronan. Robert would spit on the ground by his face. Then he looked through the windshield at Ronan and smiled. 

This was always when Ronan woke up. Usually, he would be paralyzed after a dream, and it would be a few seconds before he could move again, but these nightmares always had him shooting up in bed, his fists clenched and his heart beating fast, rage clouding his eyes red and fury painting his throat. 

Adam, next to him in bed, sat up sleepily and put his hand on Ronan's chest, finding his heart. His head rested on Ronan's shoulder, and Ronan closed his eyes and leaned his head against Adam's. 

"Nightmare?" Adam guessed, and Ronan nodded, letting Adam's hand on his chest slow his heartbeat. Adam rubbed his hand across Ronan's chest comfortingly, kissing his shoulder. 

"You're okay," Adam promised quietly in the darkness of Ronan's bedroom. "It's not real."

Ronan never liked when he said that, because it just as easily could be real. Although Adam's father wasn't much of a threat anymore, he still haunted Ronan. 

"Hey," Adam whispered, and he took Ronan's chin and turned his face towards him. He smiled and kissed Ronan once, gently. "It's okay."

And because Adam said it was, Ronan believed him. He kissed him again. 

"I love you," Adam murmured against his lips. Ronan took his hand and kissed his delicate fingers. Adam traced the shape of his lips and smiled sleepily. His hair was bedraggled and he looked adorable. And Ronan didn't use that word lightly. "Let's go back to bed, okay? Come on." His voice was soft, groggy, tempting. 

Ronan nodded and clutched Adam to his chest as they laid back on the bed again. 

"I love you, too," Ronan whispered in Adam's good ear. Adam smiled. He fell asleep against Ronan's chest, listening to the sound of his heartbeat. 


End file.
